
I hate TV! It is filled with more nonsense than beneficial content. Television distracts instead of educates. My wife compelled me to watch one of her stay-at-home wife programs, Dr. Phil. The show featured a young man named Dominick, his mother, and his grandmother. The mother indicated that she didn’t know how to help her son stop smoking weed and ruining his life. You can see a clip of the show at the end of this thread. For the entire program, visit the Dr. Phil website.
Here are my takeaways:
Television Therapy: A Disservice to Real Mental Health Treatment
I'm not sure what waivers the guests signed, but television therapy is full of crap! When removing weeds from a garden bed, you attack the root instead of the sprout. Since when do they use what a client says to threaten incrimination or coerce treatment? That non-clinical tactic strengthened the stigma of why counseling isn’t safe for many in communities that need it the most. This show perpetuated the assumption that what you share with a mental health professional will turn around to bite you in the ass. THAT ISN’T HOW REAL MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT WORKS! Sure, there are limits to confidentiality, but what Dominick shared wasn’t in that ballpark. A true mental health professional would use your circumstances to create a metaphorical mirror to help you see if you are where you want to be in life. Are your actions working for you? Are you getting what you want? It is a gentle confrontation for the purpose of helping you realize the hypnotic trance of your emotional pain points, not to incriminate you. SMH!
Dominick Wasn't the Problem—The Family System Was
Dominick was labeled as the problem, but I disagree. The family system is the problem! Using clinical research has its benefits, but not as a multicultural approach with a young man like Dominick. He has an 11th-grade education, and the expert psychiatrist called in with a great explanation about the research on marijuana. However, it was loaded with clinical jargon that would lose non-academic folks. That explanation was good for nothing in this case. Good clinicians know how to convert the data into language that an elementary student can comprehend. The psychiatrist’s explanation reminded me of “experts” who string together a series of extended vocabulary terms that lose people instead of bringing them in. The person listening to this is like, "What did he say three sentences ago? Is 'longitudinal' a word?" Folks without an extended vocabulary just nod in agreement because it sounds like it made sense. This is how the word game is used to weaponize intellect and increase the power differential in a clinical relationship. This tactic can reinforce the status of the therapist being the expert. To each their own, but I empower my clients to be the experts of their lives. They make the executive decisions to get what they want. My goal is to help them realize whether it is working or not. All of these program experts with lofty titles, but none of that helped Dominick. SMH!
Scare Tactics: Not the Way to Help
Then they brought in the young lady whose lung collapsed to scare tactic Dominick, who has probably seen and lived through worse tragedies than a collapsed lung from smoking vapes. As I knew he would, he discredited her plight by questioning where she purchased her oils. One thing about young men like Dominick is that they tend to figure out how to break the law better. Of course, this doesn’t work, but it is their way of establishing power and control over their nightmare of an existence. In their fantasy, jail isn’t as bad as it truly is until they experience it. The very thing that causes them to run to drugs (not having a sense of power and control) is what causes them to return to a system where they don’t have power and control: prison. It is a double negative where no power exists, only the illusion of power. If you don’t know how to manage your freedom correctly, then someone else will manage it for you. This is the manifestation of never having freedom in one’s childhood due to controlling parents, and then the child grows up to make poor decisions.
Validation and Understanding: The Key to Helping
You cannot discredit what works for people who are suffering from pain. Their actions must be validated because it is their best attempt at solving their problems. The only person on that episode with some sense was the director of the adolescent clinic in Florida, where they wanted to send Dominick. He validated Dominick, which none of the others did. The reason Dr. Phil’s referral to that clinical treatment center may not have worked is because of how he and the mother went about setting Dominick up to “get help.” Collectively, they probably re-triggered the lack of power and control that he had been deprived of in his youth, reinforcing the belief born out of that perceived trauma and creating more harm than good.
Dominick: A Misunderstood Young Man
Dominick is the classical black male misunderstood. It is clear he is not about the life he is choosing to live. Dominick is coping with the emotional pain he doesn’t know how to manage. Weed is the medication... He said he smokes to deal with anxiety. Where did that anxiety come from? His choices are a rebellious act against the power structure that failed to meet him where he was during his youth.
At Self-Talk Counseling & Consulting, we believe in validating the experiences and feelings of our clients. We recognize that everyone's journey is unique and requires an individualized approach that respects their background and personal struggles. Our goal is to empower our clients, helping them find their path to healing and growth without judgment or coercion.
Remember, real mental health treatment is about support, understanding, and empowerment. It's not about labeling, shaming, or using scare tactics. Let's move away from sensationalized portrayals of therapy and focus on providing genuine, compassionate care that truly makes a difference.
Dr. Kareem Puranda is a former cop turned Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist. He is based out of Charlotte NC. Please visit www.selftalkcounseling.com to learn more.